| "To hell with Denmark, something is rotten in your ass! " |
Author’s Notes, Warnings and Disclaimers:
All characters in this book are completely fictional. Any resemblance you
have to any of these characters is something you probably shouldn’t
admit. You should have yourself checked out immediately. Look in your
phone book for a good therapist.
Beware: This book, if ingested, in part or in full, may cause extreme
indigestion and, perhaps, even death, in part or in full.
Warning: Do not read this book while sitting in the bathtub with an
electrical appliance.
Suicide is dangerous.
Guns are also dangerous. Do not point them at anyone unless you live in
a remote location and have a big lake in which to dispose of the body.
This is just common sense.
Don’t drink from the lake.
Make sure you weight the body down really well.
Rocks are okay, but cinderblocks have convenient holes in them to loop a
rope through.
Not that I would know any of this.
As you get older, you may notice some loss of bladder control and hair.
If you urinate in the shower, you are infusing yourself with steamy pee.
All characters in this book are completely fictional. Any resemblance you
have to any of these characters is something you probably shouldn’t
admit. You should have yourself checked out immediately. Look in your
phone book for a good therapist.
Beware: This book, if ingested, in part or in full, may cause extreme
indigestion and, perhaps, even death, in part or in full.
Warning: Do not read this book while sitting in the bathtub with an
electrical appliance.
Suicide is dangerous.
Guns are also dangerous. Do not point them at anyone unless you live in
a remote location and have a big lake in which to dispose of the body.
This is just common sense.
Don’t drink from the lake.
Make sure you weight the body down really well.
Rocks are okay, but cinderblocks have convenient holes in them to loop a
rope through.
Not that I would know any of this.
As you get older, you may notice some loss of bladder control and hair.
If you urinate in the shower, you are infusing yourself with steamy pee.
| "There’s nothing like a new house to make you think you’re old stuff sucks." |
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