| "I have laughed so hard, I have tears in my eyes." |
Excerpts (in random order so as not to give away the plot):
Michael looks distraught.
Michael looks perplexed.
Michael looks tired and worried.
Michael peeks through the fence and sees many guards surrounding a
house with machine guns.
Michael blows the horn, slides down in his seat, doubles over, holding his
stomach, sweat pouring down his face, struggles to his feet, the chair still
attached to his butt, gives Mildred a big hug.
Michael elbows him, drives down the street, steps over Charles,
unconscious on the floor, flips the paper over, drives on in worried silence,
sinks further into his seat, walks into the bank. No one hears him.
After a moment, Michael stops wriggling.
Michael slips, falls and knocks himself unconscious.
Michael and the henchmen burst outside, tripping.
Michael looks at everyone in the rearview mirror then over at Miss Lily.
She grins and clicks her dentures provocatively.
The Young Dude punches Michael in the head, Charles slaps Michael
across the face, The Boss hugs Michael and pats him on the back, The
Boss points at Michael, Angela hands Michael a cup of coffee, Guido runs
toward Michael, still holding his coffee cup, trying to keep it steady. He
stands and approaches Michael. Michael gets up, leaves the room…
Michael remains bent over.
Michael and the Boss sit in comfortable chairs in the Boss’s office.
Michael finds himself standing at the top of a high embankment overlooking
a compound of buildings.
Michael hides next to a building behind a large pile of crates, unzips and
relieves himself on the building while also holding his aching face, Michael
zips up and runs, runs around the corner of the building beside a fence. He
comes to a dead end, trapped, turns around, spins in circles, barely
avoiding the bullets, pulls out his gigantic gun, puts away his gun, he pulls
out his gun, puts his gun away, turns, and before he can flee, a bullet
whizzes past him. Then another and another… choreographed in time to
the music and each other.
Michael looks around and smiles, a little happy, a little sad.
Michael runs up to Vic McGill, running down the hall. He grabs his crotch
and runs out of the room. Michael looks around, then also bolts for the
door, runs down a hall and leaps through a doorway. They run out the
door, leap to their feet and run away through the woods, leaving Charles
behind, still dazed. They run a short distance, huffing and puffing. Michael
runs for a just a few seconds.
“Run, Michael, run!”
Wayne farts. Michael jumps up and runs.
After some agony, he gets off the desk and runs to the door, sees Mildred
and runs toward her.
“I run. I run as fast as I can.”
Michael runs to a door in the back of the room and throws it open. They all
run out the door without waiting for Michael, run into the meeting room with
boxes of donuts and trays of coffee.
Mayhem ensues.
Finally, Michael grabs the dog and runs back to his friends, runs toward the
house screaming like a banshee.
The group gets riled up.
“When you get to the light at the end of the tunnel, hang a left!”
Michael’s friends and many Henchmen run frantically around the house.
Wayne farts long and loud. Michael runs out of the dining room, down the
hall and past a library, runs past the library, down the hall and into a
kitchen, runs out of the kitchen, back down the hall and past a sitting room,
runs past the sitting room, down the hall and past the dining room. He
stops, backs up, stands in the doorway, watching. Michael runs down the
hall.
Charles gives chase, his big butt waddling down the hall.
“Where did he go?”
Michael puts his hands on his head in frustration. He throws opens the front
door of the house, scales the fence and runs. Guido circles them. Michael
runs over to Guido and drops the gun. The security guard helps Michael
into the passenger seat of Michael’s minivan while a teller runs and gets
into the driver’s side. They run out the door.
“I’m running so fast I’m almost running on my own face”
More concerned people gather around. “Run! Run! They’re coming!”
He runs to a building, throws open a door and rushes inside.
“We’re going to run! We’re going to run as fast as we can!”
Wayne farts again.
Michael runs away.
The dog runs away.
Guido pulls himself up and runs painfully away.
Michael runs out, gets in his minivan and speeds away.
“Gee, what’s the rush?”
Michael gets teary-eyed and choked up.
After a pause, Michael bursts into tears.
Michael wipes his eyes and laughs.
Michael cries harder.
“Don’t cry, Sophie.”
Sophie cries.
Sophie cries, sobbing into the floor.
Michael cries harder.
Sophie keeps crying.
Charles breaks down sobbing and mumbling to himself, wiping away tears.
Sophie bursts into tears.
Michael cries harder.
They sob in each other’s arms.
Michael leans on the doorjamb and smiles, wiping away tears.
…your big fat tears…
…bursts into tears.
Michael reaches for the Boss and hugs him, teary-eyed.
Michael bursts out crying.
The group watches and wipes away tears as well.
All this crying of yours... It’s making me a little uncomfortable.
“Oh, Michael, you sound so sad.”
“No, Michael. Don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, Michael. I didn’t mean it.”
“Michael, listen to me.”
“Michael, you’ve got to snap out of this!”
“Oh, for God’s sake, Michael!”
“Michael! Michael!”
“Are you sick, Michael?”
“Michael, this is no time to relapse!”
“You’re alive! Michael’s alive!”
“Michael, do you have a small penis?”
“Michael! I was not looking at your penis! I was admiring your button fly!”
“I’m sure Charles adores your penis, Michael.”
“Michael, do you feel castrated?”
“Michael, show us your penis!”
“Stop and get the dog, Michael.”
“Oh, hey Michael.”
“Now, Michael, stop your kidding.”
“Who you got out there, Michael?”
“Michael, watch out!”
“Michael’s father is holding Michael’s penis and pointing it at him!”
“God is your father, Michael.”
“Well, Michael, you’re not exactly getting any these days!”
“I sure hope so! Oh, Michael, I sure hope so.”
“Michael, please! You’ve got to reach down, grab yourself by the jock strap
and yank yourself up!”
“Just what are you saying, that Michael is a fraud?”
“Now, come on, Michael.”
“Oh, jeepers, Michael.”
“Sure thing, Michael.”
“God dammit, Michael!”
“For goodness sake.”
“Ah, heck, Michael.”
“Jeepers.”
“Ah, jeepers, Michael.”
“Why can’t you just be a schlong like the rest of us?”
“Michael! We just finished talking about you!”
Michael looks distraught.
Michael looks perplexed.
Michael looks tired and worried.
Michael peeks through the fence and sees many guards surrounding a
house with machine guns.
Michael blows the horn, slides down in his seat, doubles over, holding his
stomach, sweat pouring down his face, struggles to his feet, the chair still
attached to his butt, gives Mildred a big hug.
Michael elbows him, drives down the street, steps over Charles,
unconscious on the floor, flips the paper over, drives on in worried silence,
sinks further into his seat, walks into the bank. No one hears him.
After a moment, Michael stops wriggling.
Michael slips, falls and knocks himself unconscious.
Michael and the henchmen burst outside, tripping.
Michael looks at everyone in the rearview mirror then over at Miss Lily.
She grins and clicks her dentures provocatively.
The Young Dude punches Michael in the head, Charles slaps Michael
across the face, The Boss hugs Michael and pats him on the back, The
Boss points at Michael, Angela hands Michael a cup of coffee, Guido runs
toward Michael, still holding his coffee cup, trying to keep it steady. He
stands and approaches Michael. Michael gets up, leaves the room…
Michael remains bent over.
Michael and the Boss sit in comfortable chairs in the Boss’s office.
Michael finds himself standing at the top of a high embankment overlooking
a compound of buildings.
Michael hides next to a building behind a large pile of crates, unzips and
relieves himself on the building while also holding his aching face, Michael
zips up and runs, runs around the corner of the building beside a fence. He
comes to a dead end, trapped, turns around, spins in circles, barely
avoiding the bullets, pulls out his gigantic gun, puts away his gun, he pulls
out his gun, puts his gun away, turns, and before he can flee, a bullet
whizzes past him. Then another and another… choreographed in time to
the music and each other.
Michael looks around and smiles, a little happy, a little sad.
Michael runs up to Vic McGill, running down the hall. He grabs his crotch
and runs out of the room. Michael looks around, then also bolts for the
door, runs down a hall and leaps through a doorway. They run out the
door, leap to their feet and run away through the woods, leaving Charles
behind, still dazed. They run a short distance, huffing and puffing. Michael
runs for a just a few seconds.
“Run, Michael, run!”
Wayne farts. Michael jumps up and runs.
After some agony, he gets off the desk and runs to the door, sees Mildred
and runs toward her.
“I run. I run as fast as I can.”
Michael runs to a door in the back of the room and throws it open. They all
run out the door without waiting for Michael, run into the meeting room with
boxes of donuts and trays of coffee.
Mayhem ensues.
Finally, Michael grabs the dog and runs back to his friends, runs toward the
house screaming like a banshee.
The group gets riled up.
“When you get to the light at the end of the tunnel, hang a left!”
Michael’s friends and many Henchmen run frantically around the house.
Wayne farts long and loud. Michael runs out of the dining room, down the
hall and past a library, runs past the library, down the hall and into a
kitchen, runs out of the kitchen, back down the hall and past a sitting room,
runs past the sitting room, down the hall and past the dining room. He
stops, backs up, stands in the doorway, watching. Michael runs down the
hall.
Charles gives chase, his big butt waddling down the hall.
“Where did he go?”
Michael puts his hands on his head in frustration. He throws opens the front
door of the house, scales the fence and runs. Guido circles them. Michael
runs over to Guido and drops the gun. The security guard helps Michael
into the passenger seat of Michael’s minivan while a teller runs and gets
into the driver’s side. They run out the door.
“I’m running so fast I’m almost running on my own face”
More concerned people gather around. “Run! Run! They’re coming!”
He runs to a building, throws open a door and rushes inside.
“We’re going to run! We’re going to run as fast as we can!”
Wayne farts again.
Michael runs away.
The dog runs away.
Guido pulls himself up and runs painfully away.
Michael runs out, gets in his minivan and speeds away.
“Gee, what’s the rush?”
Michael gets teary-eyed and choked up.
After a pause, Michael bursts into tears.
Michael wipes his eyes and laughs.
Michael cries harder.
“Don’t cry, Sophie.”
Sophie cries.
Sophie cries, sobbing into the floor.
Michael cries harder.
Sophie keeps crying.
Charles breaks down sobbing and mumbling to himself, wiping away tears.
Sophie bursts into tears.
Michael cries harder.
They sob in each other’s arms.
Michael leans on the doorjamb and smiles, wiping away tears.
…your big fat tears…
…bursts into tears.
Michael reaches for the Boss and hugs him, teary-eyed.
Michael bursts out crying.
The group watches and wipes away tears as well.
All this crying of yours... It’s making me a little uncomfortable.
“Oh, Michael, you sound so sad.”
“No, Michael. Don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, Michael. I didn’t mean it.”
“Michael, listen to me.”
“Michael, you’ve got to snap out of this!”
“Oh, for God’s sake, Michael!”
“Michael! Michael!”
“Are you sick, Michael?”
“Michael, this is no time to relapse!”
“You’re alive! Michael’s alive!”
“Michael, do you have a small penis?”
“Michael! I was not looking at your penis! I was admiring your button fly!”
“I’m sure Charles adores your penis, Michael.”
“Michael, do you feel castrated?”
“Michael, show us your penis!”
“Stop and get the dog, Michael.”
“Oh, hey Michael.”
“Now, Michael, stop your kidding.”
“Who you got out there, Michael?”
“Michael, watch out!”
“Michael’s father is holding Michael’s penis and pointing it at him!”
“God is your father, Michael.”
“Well, Michael, you’re not exactly getting any these days!”
“I sure hope so! Oh, Michael, I sure hope so.”
“Michael, please! You’ve got to reach down, grab yourself by the jock strap
and yank yourself up!”
“Just what are you saying, that Michael is a fraud?”
“Now, come on, Michael.”
“Oh, jeepers, Michael.”
“Sure thing, Michael.”
“God dammit, Michael!”
“For goodness sake.”
“Ah, heck, Michael.”
“Jeepers.”
“Ah, jeepers, Michael.”
“Why can’t you just be a schlong like the rest of us?”
“Michael! We just finished talking about you!”
| "Crazy people believe people go to work every day. Really work on their dreams and make a living at it. If you ever see anyone successful, run away quickly. They believe in themselves and are delusional. They must be stopped." |
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